American pie

I cant say i have beaten off to something weird but i CAN say that while beating off like randomly pictures pop up in my head and it sucks. Lets say i focus on one girl, then i think of another girl, then all of a suddon im sitting here thinking about my fat next door neighbor and im like "ah this sucks" and i have to restart from the top

well i guess since you all are a lot older that must give you some more experience than me so i cant say im not surprised i havnt jacked off to weirder shit

Those flutes are damn sexy, good sir.

I know some Flautists. They're all very weird people...

They hate sitting in front of the Trumpets because we "Play too loudly" apparently.

You Asshole.

You probably beat off to your gerbil-penetrating-Richard-Gere porn

Anyone ever beat off in an airplane?

Oh I tried once. But it wasn't successful.

Oh I was just thinking. I've always thought about it, but it would be so weird.

You'd just have to get a good seat with few people around, either that or hope they were asleep. Then just toss a little airplane blanket over you...

How about in the bathroom?

I think it's a felony to beat off in an airplane.

Least the could nail you for is indecent exposure.

Anyone part of the mile high club?

Ya that seems logical. I just heard a mention of it somewhere a while back, and it stuck because it seemed... interesting.

I'm trying to get my activity up....





ANYONE GOT ANY VIAGRA?!??!?!?!?

Tried, she laughed her ass off and said no.

Meh, wheres the fun in that? It's just a stinky tiny bathroom. If you do it in your seat theres the excitiment of getting caught!

Hmmm...I'da thought you'd start to smell after a while if you did it in your seat. No?

Air Hostess walks past, "Excuse me ma'am, but I don't suppose you have a towel with you? I kinda...I had an accident. Honest."

Stop by the bathroom beforehand and pick up some tissues.

Ever seen that South Park where the sextuplets have their grandma over to Stan's house, and Stan's grandfather does the grandma?

















































Ya...

If I remember correctly, she dies of a heart attack as well.

The money shot.

Pretty sure she dies, then he just keeps going.

Thats just...wrong cause the grandma dies.

And having an air marshal beat you with a flashlight!

Psh, flashlight. Pistol whip!

At first I read fleshlight and lol'd. :(

Dude I bought a Fleshlight.