Yeah but I hadn't really talked to her much and "bitch!" isn't the greatest pickup line (unless you've got a lot of money of course)

ROFL

that would have been so fucked up.........Breakign the ice by whiping it out ahahahhaa

"Hey you get around a lot right? Can you tell me if this looks healthy?"

*Whip out*

Does this look like a "Q" to you?

A Quagmire?

Long Story short,

Quagmire shaved his pubes into a circle and used his penis to make it look like a Q

It was during Recess in like 8th grade. I was playing football with some friends, and a group of chicks were watching us. One of them happened to be this hella hot gurl that i had a crush on for quite some time. Well, i chose to be the running back. Jason (QB) tosses me the ball, i head to the sideline near the chicks (show-off a bit) and my friend tackles me. Then out of the blue i ripped one HELLA loud. I was so fuckin embarassed. ANd they were al laughin, but it is cool. I talked to her later and we went out.

you left out the part where she dumped you.

Background: I've been bi-curious since I was about 14. I get along with my cousins as if we were all sisters, and we tell eachother everything, literally. Their mother is a racist to just about everyone who isn't like her. When I was 16, my younger cousin told me that she was a lesbian, and had a girlfriend. I was okay with it, and told her that I was bi-curious. That's how it was, and we went on with life. I had decided not to tell any other family members until I was older, mainly out of fear of how they would react.

Story: A couple months later, my dad, sister and I were on our way home from my aunts house. It was the most embarrassing car ride EVAR...for me, anyway. This is the conversation that took place:

Dad: "Your aunt has got the craziest idea that you're bisexual."
Jess: *inwardly spazzes*
Dad: "She told me today that Leslie (the lesbian cousin) told her you were. I told her that you weren't."
Jess: *mini-heart attacks*
Dad: "...You're not, are you?"
Jess: "Well...uh...yeah...kinda."
*everyone is quiet*
Dad: "...Oh."


The moral of the story: Don't tell family jack-shit about your personal life. It'll only bite you in the ass later on.

Heh, heh. Alriiight...

FationSurge: jessifer just posted the same ...story twice
GravitonSurge: lol
FationSurge: one in the first page
FationSurge: then again in the last.
GravitonSurge: say something then.
FationSurge: no
FationSurge: she'll start talking about how she's bi-curious or something

...Awe crap. Sorry. Someone delete that, then. Bleh.

a few years ago I was wanking in my room alone then from almost nowhere the door opens just a crack and I see my mom's face pop in the crack looking in my room, she saw me wanking! she didn't know I was doing that i hope but when she saw me she didnt say a word, she just closed the door and left.. I ususally heard my parents walking through the hallway so i stopped wanking but not that time :( unfortunately... I couldnt look at her for a week.. i opened my door to see if she was there and if she was i would put whatever i had to do on hold jus to amke sure i wasnt in her field of vision :P it sucked

Ahah. ya that came later when i called her a bitch for breaking my Disturbed CD. Man, one fight and she dumps me. Heh. ah well, life goes on.

lol how old were you when this happened?

Holy, has every single guy had some sort of masturbation incident?

Heh. I think it's funny. It makes me think that no guy has the common sense to do it when they're sure that no one is home.

which incident exactly are you talking about?

It started in the summer between 8th and 9th grade. Then i went out with her for most of 9th, and in the middle of sophmore year she dumped me. She broke my CD cuz i called her best friend a slut for doing like 4 guys in 2 weeks. Then we started to argue a bit, she broke my CD, i called her a bitch, then she is like "We should see other people." and i was like "Whatever". I talk to her every once in awhile, but i moved on. She was pretty cool though.

Alright, I am at camp, and I am in the middle of a skit. Its really corny, and I am supposed to say "Leave my wife out of this! I made my own sandwich". Now, you must remember that I am speaking to a girl, and I said "Leave your wife out of this, I make my own sandwiches!" Oh, it wasn't too good, but she forgave me, eventually. And this was infront of the whole camp, and everyone was laughing. But it was kind of funny though at the same time.

I got caught touching myself.....in third grade.

...erg...well, shit.

I dated a girl for little over a year when I was 14. We were each other's first sexual experience, and the two of us went a little nuts with it. She, at one point, suggested a threesome with one of her friends. The catch was, she was terrified to ask, and wanted me to do it for her. So, I spoke with the friend about it, and after stumbling around the subject for about an hour, I just blurted it out and asked her. She refused, and then proceeded to tell everyone she knew about it. My girlfriend then denied ever having any part in it, and I was left looking like a perverted jackass. I honestly didn't think it could get any worse until other kids from my church's youth group started asking me about it. Beat that.

So, she really didnt want to do a threesome just a dick headed friend of hers said she did? I HATE shit like that!!

No, no, no. My girlfriend was the one that brought the subject up. She was too scared to ask her friend about it, so she made me do it for her. I asked the friend, she said no, told all her friends that I asked and then my girlfriend denied ever suggesting it. She made me look like it was all my idea and that I was a psycho pervert. Then, other kids in my youth group found out, and I started getting shit at church.

i got caught cutting a kid's back out with a rock

embarassing because that was rude

and because i was caught attempting to kill

(i only managed to just make him bleed all over the place)