Zelaron Gaming Forum - bash.org quotes

Zelaron Gaming Forum (http://zelaron.com/forum/index.php)

- The Lounge (http://zelaron.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=183)

- - bash.org quotes (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42724)

Quote:

<niceboy19> i'm german
<Evilbert-> don't worry i won't mention the war
<niceboy19> what do you mean with that
<niceboy19> you just mentioned it
<Evilbert-> you started it
<niceboy19> i didn't
<Evilbert-> Yes you did! You invaded Poland!

That's based on one of the sketches from Fawlty Towers (John Cleese comedy he wrote and starred in after Monty Python. Hilarious).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MbeT7_ARm8

Listen, don't mention the War! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it alright.

Somebody241> i was playing XBL yesterday
<Somebody241> and i was playing wit my friend
<Somebody241> and im sure hes maried and everything
<Somebody241> And all of a sudden
<Somebody241> His wife comes on the mic and says
<Somebody241> "Can my husband quit the game so we can have sex?"
<Somebody241> and then some lil 9 year old in my team says "Sure just leave the mic on"

<implexor> some of my friends were smoking pot in a car. After some laughing they started to cruise around town. Drove for a while and while going round a roundabout one of them noticed that it would be funny to drive on it backwards. It was funny until the inevitable happened and they've hit another car.
<dsarr> lol
<implexor> w8 there's more. They went silent and just sit frightened in the car. Police came very quickly and started to talk to the driver in the car behind them. Then the policeman came to their drivers door, my friend opens the window, and the policeman goes "don't worry guys, the bloke in the other car is so drunk, that he's telling stories you were driving backwards"

.Nikari> $h1t
<Ferrari> |=uc|<
<Ferrari> |317C|-|
<Nikari> |= |_| < |<
<Ferrari> haha
<Ferrari> |3][¯|¯c|-|
<Nikari> |> /- // ||
<DragonPhoeniX> ( () ( |< 5 |_| ( |< ][ || (¬ |) () |_| ( |-| |= |3 / (¬
<Ferrari> ...
<Nikari> D=
<Nikari> I think we've been owned
<Ferrari> retardedly owned

Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile ([email protected]) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
reminds me of.....well...

LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder

last one promise.

Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

Quote:

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile ([email protected]) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

Already posted.

---

Heh heh. Cocksucking doucebag. :p Retardedly owned.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kyeruu

<implexor> some of my friends were smoking pot in a car. After some laughing they started to cruise around town. Drove for a while and while going round a roundabout one of them noticed that it would be funny to drive on it backwards. It was funny until the inevitable happened and they've hit another car.
<dsarr> lol
<implexor> w8 there's more. They went silent and just sit frightened in the car. Police came very quickly and started to talk to the driver in the car behind them. Then the policeman came to their drivers door, my friend opens the window, and the policeman goes "don't worry guys, the bloke in the other car is so drunk, that he's telling stories you were driving backwards"

haha, lucky ass motherfuckers

Amazing what you rediscover when thread digging. :)

Oh, and wtf is: "Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite."?!

---

Quote:

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

Quote:

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

Quote:

<death09>my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
<ktp753>ouch.
<death09>yeah.i sent them to her dad

Quote:

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

Quote:

<wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
<wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
<wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
<wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
<wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
<wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
<wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

Remember where I'm up to, folks - I've found some other good ones which I'll leave for now.

Those last two were pretty damn LOLworthy.

Quote:

#761414 +(6452)- [X]
SergioThree: there's other fish in the sea, man, she's just a girl
Beatsfromkorea: no dude, that's bullshit.
Beatsfromkorea: Think of it this way. if your precious copy of street fighter third strike broke and i told you "it's ok man, there's other games in the sea. here, play mortal kombat instead" what would you say? you'd be like, "fuck that, gimme third strike."
SergioThree: ...
SergioThree: you just reached me on a level that i never thought possible

http://www.bash.org/?761414

Lenny, that one is def epic!

lawl.

Quote:

thefinalcutter83: According to CNN.com: "Iranian missile may be able to hit U.S. by 2015."
SpaceInvader455: That's one slow fuckin missile.

Quote:

<Mike> So I have a Skype forwarding enabled for my cellphone, so any phone call made to me on Skype forwards to my cellphone. It's a couple bucks a month, so why not.
<Mike> Anyways, I am studying with my friend beside me and I see Skype on my computer start ringing. I didn't want to answer with my computer so I picked up my cellphone and told my friend "One second, taking a phone call" without thinking about it.
<Mike> My phone rings 1 second later, I answer it, walk out of the room.
<Mike> Didn't realize how much of a psychic hero I looked like to my friend until I left the room. Looked at my friend through the window who is sitting like O_O

Quote:

<Velkyr> Why is it when your wife or girlfriend gets pregnant, all her friends rub her belly and say "congratulations!"
<Velkyr> But nobody rubs your dick and says "Good Job"?