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-   -   [RM2K3] hi (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46371)

officerbill 2008-07-20 01:30 AM

hi
 
hello i'm new so i just wanted to give all you game fanatics a description on my main game that i'm making i hope it's ok and i'm open to critisism but don't get too ahead ahead of yourselves, i can only take so much.Ok this is it:
In the dawn of everything the god figure known as "Him" created all.After many generations had passed "He" saw how violent "His" worl had become, so much anger so much hate, and ugliness."He" decided to created someone to save the univereses and help bring peace to "His" worlds.It didn't go according to plan, "He" created the Demon Slayer to sstop all evil and bring goodness to all."He" named him Ziegrich Quazalan and the worlds were at peace for awhile, until Zieg couldn't handle all the stress and duties and rresponsibility so he basically cracked.He became the opposite of what he was created for and was now bent on destroying all of reality itself to save everybody from themselves, to try to cleanse the world in a sence but "He" wouldn't have that."He" created three more demon slayers to stop Ziegrich but all were defeated so with "His" last two ounces of strength he created The Last Demon Slayer on Earth to take on his purpous and save everything.and with "His" last dose of energy "He" transfered "His" soul into a random human being and now waitss dormant for The Last Demon Slayer to discover his true purpous and save everything and stop Ziegrich at any cost.
My game takes place during The Last Demon Slayer (Brandon Dun)'s bid quest or adventure.He is travelling the Earthuntil he comes across Akross Mansion and investigates, it appears empty.It doesn't seem right so he investigates Akross Village and also finds it abandoned but apparently after going into a house he discovers the citizens are Very Religous.So while meeting the townsfolk Brandon or as he's known in the menu is Slayer he hears alot about some people known as "The Matchmakers" who are treated as gods.But Brandon doesn't like the sound of all this so.
Thats it so tell me what you all think.

Noob101 2008-07-24 08:31 PM

It sounds very good. I love Zieg's name, especially. The idea of a savior "cracking" sounds very interesting. Hopefully we'll see a demo soon? :D

officerbill 2008-08-05 10:06 PM

thank you :) i am already working on the game.I still have a looooooong way to go though cause i'm making it like as long as Final fantasy X which is a super long game itself so yeah thanks for the kind words sir.

Noob101 2008-08-06 09:12 PM

Currently playing Final Fantasy X now. Weird. Anyways, a 70+ hour-long game? You have your work cut out for you, buddy. If you need any help with anything, let us all know - I'm sure we can help.

Goodlookinguy 2008-08-07 04:04 AM

Honestly, I'm not as much as a Grammar Nazi as I used to be. Whatever the case, this was ridiculous. The grammatical and spelling errors destroyed me. Please, do tell me you won't write like that in your game. Please tell me, that it will look similar to my cleaned up version of your writing. It sounds interesting, however, any gamer will put it down very soon after picking it up if you have that many grammatical and spelling errors.

Here is a somewhat cleaned up version of your summery.
Quote:

Originally Posted by officerbill with the help of GLG
Hello, I’m new. I just wanted to give all you game fanatics a description of the main game that I’m making. I hope it's okay, and I’m open to criticism. However, don't get too ahead of yourselves. I can only take so much. Alright, this is it:
In the dawn of everything the god figure known as, "Him," created all. After many generations had passed, "He" saw how violent "His" world had become. So much anger, so much hate, and so much ugliness. “He" decided to create someone to save the universes and help bring peace to "His" worlds. It didn't go according to plan, "He" created the Demon Slayer to stop all evil and bring goodness to all. “He" named him, “Ziegrich Quazalan,” and the worlds were at peace for awhile. That was until Zieg couldn't handle the stress, duties, and responsibility. So he cracked, became the opposite of what he was created for, and was bent on destroying all of reality itself. To save everybody from themselves, to try to cleanse the world in a sense, but "He" wouldn't have that. “He" created three more demon slayers to stop Ziegrich, but all were defeated. So with "His" last two ounces of strength, he created The Last Demon Slayer on Earth, to take on his purpose and save everything. With "His" last dose of energy, "He" transferred "His" soul into a human being. Now “He” waits dormant for The Last Demon Slayer to discover his true purpose, save everything, and stop Ziegrich at any cost.
My game takes place during The Last Demon Slayer (Brandon Dun)'s bid quest or adventure. He is traveling the Earth until he comes across Akross Mansion and investigates, it appears empty. It doesn't seem right, so he investigates Akross Village and also finds it abandoned. Apparently after going into a house, he discovers the citizens are very religious. So while meeting the townsfolk, Brandon, or as he's known in the menu as Slayer, hears a lot about some people known as "The Matchmakers," who are treated as gods. Brandon doesn't like the sound of all this.
That’s it so tell me what you all think.


Wed-G 2008-08-07 02:58 PM

I agree with GLG, in a way.

Any RPGMaker game that has bad grammar (or RTP in some cases) I immediately stop playing.


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