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-   -   Joke (Old, you prolly already heard) (http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26065)

Demosthenes 2003-12-27 12:12 PM

Joke (Old, you prolly already heard)
 
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.
However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit
33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the
worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in
turn and asks them about how they died.

First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was
cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one
afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When
I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife
was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't
find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place
I looked was out on the balcony.

I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back
in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he
yelled, but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer,
and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors
screaming in agony. But the fall didn't kill the asshole. He
landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the
kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and
hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed
him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went
back into the bedroom and shot myself."

St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then,
telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.

Second man: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this
apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning
exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the
sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily,
I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and
holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when
this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and
started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but
he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull
myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my
fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I
landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second stroke of
luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous
refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and
crushing me."

St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken
bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man.

Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a
refrigerator..."

Sovereign 2003-12-27 04:48 PM

heh, heard it before, but it still gets a good ole chuckle outa me.

Decayed Voodoo 2003-12-27 05:17 PM

http://www.geocities.com/chikey_ban/s.txt

iceman887 2003-12-27 09:17 PM

i dont get it

Sovereign 2003-12-27 09:36 PM

One guy fell off his balcony and was hanging on the other guys balcony. That guy thought his wife or something was cheating on him and saw the guy hanging, he tried to bash his fingers in to get him to fall, he fell, but wasnt dead. He threw the fridge on him, of which the guy who was cheating on his wife with was hiding in. Then he killed himself.

Thanatos 2003-12-29 09:09 AM

lol, that's funny.

Eddie_Perez 2003-12-29 11:31 AM

True dat....

zagggon 2003-12-29 11:37 AM

Funny.

pnaidork 2003-12-29 01:00 PM

haha funny

rusher657 2003-12-29 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zagggon
Funny.


PureRebel 2003-12-29 05:39 PM

thats old shizz.. but its still very funny

!King_Amazon! 2003-12-29 05:47 PM

Old.

uncapped 2003-12-29 06:22 PM

Older than Doofus.

!King_Amazon! 2003-12-30 03:03 AM

Amazing.

KagomJack 2003-12-30 05:11 AM

never heard that joke before, but it was funny :)

Tyrannicide 2004-01-04 08:48 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*cough*h ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*cough*hahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha*chokes*

p1ng 2004-01-04 01:54 PM

http://www.chaoticharmony.cc/forums/...s/werdsign.gif

RoboticSilence 2004-01-04 02:35 PM

Old as hell... and if you have to explain it, it's not funny. That means iceman is stupid.

Mydogisyourdog 2004-01-06 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoboticSilence
Old as hell... and if you have to explain it, it's not funny. That means iceman is stupid.

doesnt take a joke to tell you that...

Titusfied 2004-01-06 09:40 AM

This was actually posted by me a few months back... BASTARD!!!

See:
http://www.zelaron.com/forums/showth...threadid=21815

Still, that was one of my favorite jokes. :D


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