The cr*p that is Lenny.
 

I'm bored.

----------

I'm so bored, that I've decided to post a lot of my crap.

----------

What a load of crap this is gonna be. It's gonna wind you guys up no end.

----------

Let's begin today's session of crap shall we?

----------

If it is not politically correct to be politically correct then when someone is politically correct they are wrong yet right and maybe a little bit left behind the times whilst being at the right time, therefore they are in two places at once so that causes a rip in Einstein’s space/time continuum, meaning that we are here and there at the same time meaning our present selves are our past ones which are present as pasts which are presents under a Christmas tree. Geddit? No I don’t either.


“Lenstein’s Theory of Moron-onity”

According to my theories, we are all morons moving through space, yet have different levels of moronity. For example, if you score 10 on my moronity scale, then you are the moroniest moron. If you score one, then you are the moroniestless
moron. This is my scale:

11 = Lenny
10 = Moroniest moron of morony morons.
9 = Pre-moroniest moron of morony morons.
8 = Moronier than moronierererer.
7 = Moronierererer.
6 = Moroniererer.
5 = Moronierer.
4 = Moronier.
3 = Moron.
2 = Morony.
1 = Moroniestless.

Therefore, I would be the moroniest moron of moroniest morons of morony morons, for coming up with the idea.



Frogs in Winter.

When it starts to rain, you will see frogs hop over to the nearest pond and jump in. But in winter, ponds freeze over, so when it starts to rain or snow, the frogs will hop over to the nearest pond, jump in headfirst, hit the ice, and give themselves a serious migraine.

Some frogs however, will be stuck in the pond when it ices over, and will eventually drown because of lack of air.

Others stuck in the pond will swim to the bottom, propel themselves upwards towards the ice, hit the ice headfirst, give themselves a serious migraine, float to the bottom and drown because of lack of air.

Some frogs might even start clawing at the sides of the pond, find a bit of loose soil, start digging a tunnel to freedom, only to have it collapse on them or get hit on the head by a protruding rock, suffer a serious migraine and suffocate.

The clever frogs however, will find a weak patch in the ice, find a sharp pebble, speed towards the ice with the pebble held in front of them, and break free, only to give themselves a serious migraine when they try to jump through the hole into the pond…once the hole has iced over.

I woudl like to tell you, that I only read the first 2 letters.

First two letters of what?

----------

Time for more crap.

----------

If you watch too much television, your eyes are supposed to go square, like the television, so why don’t they bring out an eye shaped television so if someone watches too much television, their eyes go eye shaped? Simple.



If you say to a tall person “What’s the weather like up there?” then what would you say to a small person?



If dogs chase cats, and cats chase mice, what do mice chase?

finally, god heard my prayers. WELCOME PARTNER, lets post some... CRAP
my crap isnt as good as yours, but i bet i can learn a lot from you -.-

since its sunday and im lazy ill just post some CKY lyric

=====Todays Crap=====

CKY - Chinese Freestyle Rap

Who wants to taste my general tso...you want to taste my general tso
I'm-a give it to you now
Who like my chopstick
hit you when I shit with my little-ass dick. Yellow
If you wanna see me eat Jell-O
I never seen nothin' like you before
I can kick you higher than you can kick me
I can kick you way up into a tree
Who wants a taste of my oo-long tea Ho ha ho ha ho chi chi
Everybody in the phone book name Chang wanna see my wang
Neva Good God hit the gong with a bang. WAAA
Everybody wanna see me throw a fireball but that's not right not in real life
You will fall down and break a leg
Everybody wanna see me break a leg Well I don't
but I like fried rice and I got lice
Ching chow woah ching wang woo wice
that ain't nice Four for the cookie I only touch it twice
Delivery is free but not from me I only swallow dolla fifty
fifty five. wanna see me GO GAA Hit you with the lang. HAI YA!
War when I hit you with the shit do a split
Take a shit have to go eat my shit kung-fu
Want my buffet You fucking gay, ah
Wai-lo hit you with the hay Stay the fuck away
Hit you in the balls. Only Americans eat duck sauce
And my soy sauce is for you, I can put it in your shoe
Watch this- I can tiptoe while you take a piss
In my bathroom spy on you while your little boy shits
WAAAAAAAAI-YAH!
I can kick you if you don't pay the bill
And if you want a little mint, that's fifty cent, bitch
Everything cost a little bit
So don't expect nothin for free, at least from me Ching Chang Chewie
I got you from Taiwan city and Hong Kong
I just smoked a bong and I can do it all night long
And don't mistake me for a Viet Cong
I can get you and tackle you take you never see me
When I get you and make you
Rope you up and put you in a bamboo cage and make you feel all my rage
Poke you with a little stick till you page your buddies to come napalm me
God damn that shit burned blew away my whole city
Ho Chi Minh Shoot a load on your chin
God damn thats a sad goygo goodbye
And if you wanna come on in
You can work in to my world where the yellow shit begins HAI YA
Can't be tamed
I got shit to control your brain and it's called
Egg Foo Yung, En Lo Main
So come on in baby and have it just the same HAI YA! HAAAAAH!
No wok tow ung di day
HA, I don't suppose ha haha Huh
huhhhuhu huh

=====End Of Todays Crap=====

edit: if you sing the whole song correctly and post it in this thread i'll eat my 150$ shoes. (and post pic of it)

can both of you just shut the hell up, please?

nigga wha?

Hey symnzXx, looks like some people you can finally look eye to eye with...

Wow, this was gay.

this thread has been HIJACKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...I give up, they are beyond flaming, because they cannot be made to look more pathetic in the eyes of others at this point.

Hayjacked dude

They should both be killed.........painfully and slowly....

Like 9/11? pwned

Woah, you guys need to loosen up kinda. Right well, new post for Lenny, new loada crap. Btw, all of my crap has been compiled into one 50-page book which you could hopefully download through the following link:

The cr*p that is Lenny

Anyway, onto the crap.

----------

Alarm clocks. Horrible little things. You're fast asleep, dreaming a dream about that cute girl who sits not a row away from you in some lessons, and then that infernal time measuring device goes off. Ringing seven types of hell out of you, and waking you up. And you curse. Oh how you curse. You shout, you scream. You chuck the little git at the wall. And then you realise two things.

1. Alarm clocks are designed specifically to wake you up. That's why you bought it.

2. You need a new clock.




If a=b, b=c, and c=d, then you sure as hell need a new alphabet.




When you walk around, you have just thighs right. When you stand up from sitting down, you have thighs right. Yet when you sit down, you have a lap. And then when you stand up it...disappears. What's the deal with that?

Give up. Lenny

No.



Worse!

Worse than 9/11? Fill me in!

Ever tried tying somebody to a rope in the back of a vehicle and be dragged in the pavement with a sprinkler on the vehicle shooting lime juice?

Dude pimp. Let's do that to Lenny.

I actually laughed at this: If you watch too much television, your eyes are supposed to go square, like the television, so why don’t they bring out an eye shaped television so if someone watches too much television, their eyes go eye shaped? Simple.

But other than that, you suck.