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A lil Anecdote
It was a stormy thursdy night
nothing much left in eyesight but rain and car headlights Then I was surrounded One hundred of them came mounted I was alone they were armed Lord, is this my finale went off in my mind like an alarm I started to buck and with just that luck they left nothn left but a dutch Then I woke up to a daydream I was still surrounded it seemed this time friends and not my enemies |
I like the fact that you change the structure of the piece with each stanza. My only complaint would be some of the wording. The way you used the word "postpone" in particular just seems like you were reaching for a word to rhyme with. There are probably better words to use that will convey your intention a lot better than that one.
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You were right postpone didnt make sense much so I change the entire line
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