My fortune cookie says...
 

You will be compelled to manifest self-transformation. (In bed.)

And where did you chance across this fortune cookie?

At the end of a meal

At McDonalds in China.

Lies.

Damn right it's lies. It was Buger King.

---

Any more fortunes for us, oh Surgey One?

If I worked at a Chinese restaurant I'd shit in the food.

So I just popped open a fortune cookie. The first thing I noticed is that it came in some truly wack wrapping. Made in Brooklyn, NY. Anyway, I crack it apart skillfully and out comes not one, but two fortunes... and something that I think is a piece of lettuce.

Anyway...

You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble (in bed).
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.

I originally read that as "autistic." Watch out for rain man!