"Maybe we should go help them". "No, it's too late, they're changing plans." They were. The child couldn't reach the dollars. Not even close. It was time for a new strategy.
"By the power of Cleo, my pyschic friend, I command you dollars to fall from the tree into my hands!".
This tractor beam method was ingenious of course, but in the end, did nothing. But something else was brewing.
The "slow one" caught site of the young child again, and this time, it was her idea. She chased down the red dressed girl for a second round of child stacking.
Because the success of the first attempt at child stacking went over so well, they decided to do it again. Once again, failure was waiting for this attempt.
Just for a second I'll cut the "dramatic writing style" crap and readily admit that behind our thick piece of glass you could easily hear the roar of laughter as this person began to shake the tree. The camera didn't exactly capture it, but she was shaking it hard. The whole thing was moving, and we thought for sure she'd knock the entire tree down.
[img]http://www.stinkfart.com/images/stories/01_12.jpg[/img
They had hatched a new form of human stacking, this time, no children were involved. These ladies must have been cheerleaders in their youth. They seem to enjoy human stacking. The bigger one came up with the idea of getting on all fours and letting someone stand on her. We were beginning to think she was the most clever out of the bunch.
Just as the human stacking was about to take place, a guy walked by. Our dollar bill team asked him for help, which he quickly declined. It should be noted that this wasn't this guy's first time looking at our dollar bills. A few weeks earlier we caught him glancing upwards. Every day after when he passed this spot he'd keeps his eyes glued to the ground. We didn't like this guy. He frustrated us. His not helping the helpless further reinforced our distaste for him.
The Scrooge McDuck guy left, leaving our team to their own devices. The clever one evolved her human stacking idea into a more advanced idea. Grab the tree while presenting a knee to step off of. Very clever. This allowed the leader of the gang to scale the tree more easily.
Legs are of no use in a tree like this, which explains the dangling of feet. The bills were just barely out of the reach of the leader. As she shifted and shaked to try and get herself up higher, the tree shaked with equal vigor. We were legitimately concerned that our sapling might crack under the pressure. Nail biting ensued.
She finally reached the first dollar, and dropped it to the clever one below. But the job wasn't finished until both bills were secure.
The second bill was freed, and the camera caught the pivotal moment that we in the industry like to refer to as "the money shot".
With the money secured, the children broke out in wild celebration. Their dreams of wealth from a tree had been satisfied. These children will grow up to be highly optimistic, and will believe that if they can think it, they can do it.
We saw this same group walk by once more with fast-food in hand, and as they passed, they gave the tree a loving pat. They had earned their money. It took them nearly 25 minutes to do it, but it sure was worth it.
Within an hour after the Climb the Tree for a Dollar, nine cheerleaders from Utah posed in front of our street sign. What a coincidence, as we suspected the dollar bill group to be cheerleaders too. Perhaps there was a cheerleader convention in town. We saw more random acts of human stacking that day than we ever had.
With the dollar bills gone, the legal department stepped in. Apparently, California has stupid laws. While in any other state we'd be free of any legal obligation to the tree climbers had they falled and broken their legs, in California, we'd be lawsuit-worthy. So we retired this prank. It's just as well, because we doubt it would ever get any better than that day.
Comments
Find a taller tree, and put a bigger prize, I want broken bones
N/A
Jul 31.02 | 8:0 PM PST
amazing how they did all that for 2 dollars!
Lucky
Jul 31.02 | 2:19 PM PST
The comments made this little joke funnier than funny. I rarely laugh out loud when I'm by myself...
Filibuster Vigilante
Jul 28.02 | 8:53 PM PST
i love it. I LOVE IT!!
ozma
Jul 17.02 | 9:56 PM PST
Can't believe Maxim stole your challenge idea. Their stories aren't half as witty and entertaining as your work. so FORGET THEM - I know your fans will!
http://www.stinkfactor.com/