You ever have this barbecue sauce?
A barbecue sauce so irresistable,
That a taste of it only left you craving more.
A sweet delicious barbecue sauce, I
Must admit; I am captivated by its taste.

Any bland meal, it will make special.
I find any excuse to pour some of this
Delicious viscous delight onto my meal;
For its addictive effect is about 10x greater
Than any of the best heroin you can get.

But now, the addiction has become too much.
Work, family, friends; they mean nothing.
The barbecue sauce has taken over,
I want nothing more in my life besides it.
I crave it...I YEARN FOR IT.

I will kill someone if I find them eating/stealing
My barbecue sauce. Its controlling me, its telling
Me what to do. I must abandon my life.
I must run away to a tropical paradise where
I and the sauce can be together, soul mates at last.

But woe is me. I have overlooked the fact that
The sauce is not a living entity. It cannot regenerate
Itself back into its delicious dark red form. I have
consumed all the sauce. I am left alone...in the dark,
Without my wonderful Barbecue Sauce. I am nothing.

Sonny's Pit BBQ Sauce. Available at your local supermarket.