I know that feeling well. I remember days where I looked in the mirror and said "You're not fucking worth the effort" and the many thoughts about death to myself. I can't remember the amount of times I"ve planned suicide. I've lost count of times where I almost did it. I know this, never look in the mirror when you are depressed. It will tell you things that are untrue.

I also remember days where I felt like I was betrayed and unloved...those days hurt the most. Those days I really came close.

But I've learned to look at things a little more positively, yet keeping my darkness. It scares me that I have my dark side still...but I try not to feed it at all.