Hmm...stories. OK then, start of "The Curse of the Octuple Poster":
In a galaxy far far away, there span a disk. Once round, constant belief had turned it flat.
They say belief is the strongest weapon man has. Without belief, nothing would exist. Belief grows into things, it creates things...it also squahses things. Take this world. The combined worlds of Zela. Once just the one round world. People had then started believing that the world was flat. How else would it spin in a curved orbit? Only plates or frisbees thrown at the correct angle fly in circles. Then the Slightly Silly Quintuple Poster had come along. He had persuaded people that the Disk was made up of 5 worlds. From then on, Zela had been 5 combined worlds. Not long after, the Slightly Silly Quintuple Poster was defeated. His forces dissipated, his influences disappeared, and a new person took his place - The Crazy Octuple Poster. He had unleashed his reign of terror upon the lands of Zela as soon as he recieved the power. Soon the 5 worlds became 8. 8 being the number of times he posted. No-one was allowed to count past 8. 8 being the number up to which people could count. No more, no less. 8. After a while, this crazy person took prisoner a scientist in octuple genetics. Aurvian. He forced this scientist to create the 8 Post-its. These became the crazy guys right-hand men. These 8 Post-its were also crazy. Some of the Octuple Posters, lunacy, had rubbed off on them. After time, these Post-its evolved into the perfect candidates for being crazy. They became...Scottish. They started to speak in Scottish, dress like the Scottish, even live like the Scottish. They also developed a fear of the Welsh...and a weird fear of staplers. Once the transformation was complete, The Crazy Octuple Poster started to send the Post-its on missions. They went around the worlds, causing havoc, and mentally scarring those who finally had the answer to the question: What is up a Scotsmans Kilt??? Then Aurvian escaped. He alone knew the secret of life. Or at least...he had. Lenny, The Crazy Octuple Poster had tortured it out of him. Now he no longer knew it, and he wanted to re-learn it. He had escaped. Lenny had sent the Post-its out on a mission to find him. They hadn't, and now they were returning to report to Lenny.
"The Eat Post-its signing in ser."
"So," Lenny strolled over to them, rubbing his hands together in imitation of a crazy guy, "Did you get him?"
"Well, yoo ken boss...we..."
"Spit i out man!"
"Well boss. We couldnae find im. We loooked everywaer."
"You mean to tell me, you looked around the whole of Zela, yet you coudn't find him?"
"You dunnit noo, ye big wally!" whispered Bill Post-it to his twin brother, Bored.
"Oh waily waily. We all in foo it noo!"
"Och noo..." The other Post-its groaned.
"This makes me mad."
"Och no boss. Ye dunnae unnerstand oos. We promise, we did loook. Everywaer!"
"The 8 Post-its looked everywhere, yet ould not find 1 man. The legendary 8 Post-its. 8 Scottish Madmen, could not find 1 man." Lenny's back was to the Post-its now. Suddenly he spun around: "Notyce, Bill, Bored, Pinn, Droorwing, Fliyer, Styki and, Fred. Attention!" The 8 instantly stood to attention. Lenny started pacing in front of them. "You have disappointed me dearly. I have put my trust in you for years, yet now you fail me. There is only one punishment for this." Lenny strolled away from the Post-its, and over to his desk. He pressed a button. A speaking tube fell down from the ceiling hit him on the head. He took the end with one hand, rubbing his head with the other, and spoke into it. "Minion No. 160943690976435800875563899865556343459-907896567325442545856967908089607764. Bring in...the PUNISHMENTS."
The Post-its started to shake.
"No. Please ser. No!"
A door in the wall opened, allowing entry to the occupants of the room on the other side.
"Och no! Not the staplers! Please ser! NO!"
"Forgit the staplers," another Post-it shrieked, "Loook behind them. Et's the Welsh!"
"Oh Waily!" the Welsh and the staplers moved aside, to show a third party. "WELSH STAPLERS! ROON!!!"
A hundred miles away, Bluecube rolled over in his sleep.
The rest of this great saga and the underlying plans can be found at the following address:
http://zelaron.com/forum/showthread.php?t=32848
Last edited by Lenny; 2004-09-01 at 12:32 PM.
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