Woah, you guys need to loosen up kinda. Right well, new post for Lenny, new loada crap. Btw, all of my crap has been compiled into one 50-page book which you could hopefully download through the following link:

The cr*p that is Lenny

Anyway, onto the crap.

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Alarm clocks. Horrible little things. You're fast asleep, dreaming a dream about that cute girl who sits not a row away from you in some lessons, and then that infernal time measuring device goes off. Ringing seven types of hell out of you, and waking you up. And you curse. Oh how you curse. You shout, you scream. You chuck the little git at the wall. And then you realise two things.

1. Alarm clocks are designed specifically to wake you up. That's why you bought it.

2. You need a new clock.




If a=b, b=c, and c=d, then you sure as hell need a new alphabet.




When you walk around, you have just thighs right. When you stand up from sitting down, you have thighs right. Yet when you sit down, you have a lap. And then when you stand up it...disappears. What's the deal with that?