Stop talking to both of them.

1) Your "friend" is a total wanker.

2) Your girlfriend sounds semi-retarded. Anyone who takes everything seriously is not someone I would assosciate myself with, unless I was harassing them.

As stupid as K_R is, his advice seems solid in this case. Don't even talk to them.

Something sounds fishy, too. UZG might be on to something, here. Usually once you take a "break," it's over though. Regardless of if you get back together.