On my way to the strip club with all the dirty hoes of the world, my husband came running after me with a baseball bat because he is one jealous mother fucker. I began throwing all of my dollar bills at the strippers while they beat the shit out of a midget with glass pincers for hands. A mutated midget then saw my husband as he frantically milked a monkey for everything it had. The monkey kicked my husband in the family jewels. I thought I saw a spider so I screamed in a frightened manner. I reached at a jar full of dollar bills and began stuffing myself with a huge dildo. When I realized that I was actually stuffing myself with a rotten pickle. At this point I felt embarrassed beyond belief so I just took the pickle and ate it all. And that's why I'm here in the doctor's office puking and my genital area is bleeding and spewing pickle juice. And to top it all off my husband got killed, I DIDN'T GET LAID, and I'm pretty sure I have