I also have the special privledge to live in a sport tourist town, and work in a sport tourist hotel. 80% of the guests are suburban morons. The males are of two archetypes: tall and wide shouldered beer-bellied ex-jocks who believe they can get everything they want just by raising their voice, and quiet yet hyper and jumpy nerdy guys who probably do weird things to the bedding.

The females are just one kind: cookie cutter suburban wives who all look, talk, and walk exactly the same way. This is an annoying sneerish kind of way, as if everyone else is below them. I think having an original thought would probably cause them a mental breakdown.

Their kids are the resulting mixture of self-entitlement attitude and "my dad can beat up your dad" based needless arrogance. The kids are all also exactly the same. Many of them are A.D.D. and can't sit down quietly for a goddamn minute.

As one drunk tourist at the restaurant explained it, "this place is great! You just drop the kids off for the week, ditch the wife, go drinking and pick up chicks at the bar!"