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officerbill · Posted 2008-08-07, 04:04 AM in reply to officerbill's post "hi"

Honestly, I'm not as much as a Grammar Nazi as I used to be. Whatever the case, this was ridiculous. The grammatical and spelling errors destroyed me. Please, do tell me you won't write like that in your game. Please tell me, that it will look similar to my cleaned up version of your writing. It sounds interesting, however, any gamer will put it down very soon after picking it up if you have that many grammatical and spelling errors.

Here is a somewhat cleaned up version of your summery.

officerbill with the help of GLG said:

Hello, I’m new. I just wanted to give all you game fanatics a description of the main game that I’m making. I hope it's okay, and I’m open to criticism. However, don't get too ahead of yourselves. I can only take so much. Alright, this is it:
In the dawn of everything the god figure known as, "Him," created all. After many generations had passed, "He" saw how violent "His" world had become. So much anger, so much hate, and so much ugliness. “He" decided to create someone to save the universes and help bring peace to "His" worlds. It didn't go according to plan, "He" created the Demon Slayer to stop all evil and bring goodness to all. “He" named him, “Ziegrich Quazalan,” and the worlds were at peace for awhile. That was until Zieg couldn't handle the stress, duties, and responsibility. So he cracked, became the opposite of what he was created for, and was bent on destroying all of reality itself. To save everybody from themselves, to try to cleanse the world in a sense, but "He" wouldn't have that. “He" created three more demon slayers to stop Ziegrich, but all were defeated. So with "His" last two ounces of strength, he created The Last Demon Slayer on Earth, to take on his purpose and save everything. With "His" last dose of energy, "He" transferred "His" soul into a human being. Now “He” waits dormant for The Last Demon Slayer to discover his true purpose, save everything, and stop Ziegrich at any cost.
My game takes place during The Last Demon Slayer (Brandon Dun)'s bid quest or adventure. He is traveling the Earth until he comes across Akross Mansion and investigates, it appears empty. It doesn't seem right, so he investigates Akross Village and also finds it abandoned. Apparently after going into a house, he discovers the citizens are very religious. So while meeting the townsfolk, Brandon, or as he's known in the menu as Slayer, hears a lot about some people known as "The Matchmakers," who are treated as gods. Brandon doesn't like the sound of all this.
That’s it so tell me what you all think.