First: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns

Second: You don't pay to have an authenticator added to your account, you buy the authenticator from the blizzard store and then add it to whatever account you want. It costs like $6 for one. There's no good excuse for you not having one, and getting one would have prevented what happened to you from happening 100%. I suppose technically they could look to see the name of the person who purchased the authenticator, but you could probably get a pre-paid visa or some shit to buy it, and they likely won't do that for you anyway because it's your own stupid fault. See this thread for more information on the Blizzard authenticator.

Third: