Neko said:
Everything and everyone is ugly. Everyone is going to feel ugly. Everyone sees ugly. It's a fact of life, unless you have a huge ego or cannot see.
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Wow, that's a pretty jaded outlook. I actually happen to like my appearance. Sure, I'd like it if my fucking hair would grow faster, and I could stand to lose some of the extra weight I've accumulated over the last year or so, but otherwise, I like the way I look.
I don't think it's egotistical or vain
at all to appreciate the way you look. Egotism comes from
obsession over the way you look. Egotism is a mindset that manifests in your behavior. If you think you're
better than someone else just because you're in better physical condition,
that is when egotism sets in. Just simply being confident enough to say "I'm an attractive person" isn't egotism, it's
healthy.
Shinto, I don't think it's your appearance that has you so upset. The fact is, there's nothing
wrong with the way you look. You don't have a giant goiter growing out of your forehead. You don't have horrendous facial scarring ala Freddy Krueger. You look just fine. Whatever is bugging you has nothing to do with your appearance.