What state is your keyboard in?

Mine is proably the most abused piece of shit ever. The keys offer NO resistance anymore, I can barely feel if I'm pressing them. Left Ctrl, Left Windows Key, and Right Shift are missing (they got in the way of FPSing.) I've got about 3 years of crud buildup here.. I could probably kill a few people by pouring this shit on them. And uh.. my caps lock light doesn't work.