I was thinking "meat someone" meant putting them through a meat grinder and cooking and eating them. I bet your meat would taste really good Slaynish, given that you're young and fat. If it was Grav meat vs. your meat, I'd pick yours. Here's what I'd make:
Slaynish Tacos:
1 lb. Ground Slaynish Meat
1 Taco Bell home tacos kit
1 Bowl of chopped lettuce
1 Can of Refried Beans
8 oz of Sour Cream
In a hot skillet, brown Slaynish meat until tender. Add 1 packet Taco Bell beef seasoning. Bring heat to low and stir. Open bag of tortillas from Taco Bell home kit and enjoy.