Fidelity

How do you feel about the concept of relationship exclusivity (or polyamory)?

Nothing more special than two people finding an attraction so deep it feels like the other person if completing you. For the most part though, thats generally not the case and people stay together to long. People don't understand themselves completely enough to really understand what a perfect mate would be like for them.

To quote a genius: "It all boils down to there currently being no understanding of what exactly induces "love" (although certain patterns of chemicals can be spotted as a consequence of it; not necessarily the cause), and so, it remains a subjective experience due to lack of understanding of the phenomenon, and therefore, stating that it "cannot happen" based on incomplete premises is faulty logic."

Hayduke - if you believe a 'perfect mate' exists, how does one know if they have been found, and how do you understand yourself 'completely enough'?

Whats the point Grav? This thread isn't really your style...

To make a long story short: Due to the hectic nature of this age bracket [school, uncertain futures] and a somewhat cynical attitude towards love, I have been enjoying a polyamorous lifestyle; I don't offer exclusive relationships. My lovers know this. But there is one woman that has pierced my heart... she is my closest emotional companion, to those around us it is obvious we are in love. Our relationship began with the understanding that it would not be exclusive, but I have been told recently that I may be doing her an injustice and risk hurting her. I wonder what the general consensus of Zelaron is, given that we are all a little older and a little wiser.

First, why the cynicism? Have you been hurt previously by love?

If your truly in love w/ this woman do you not desire to spend most of your time with her? To spend most of your energy around making her happy, to see a smile that will warm your heat.
Yes, you may risk hurting her, but then again, even if you were monogamous you still may hurt each other. The world is full of uncertainties and you shouldn't really spend time worrying about them, just do what YOU feel is right, and being the intelligent logical and good person (presumably) you are, it will be the right decision whether people are hurt or not. As long as your intentions are good I believe things happen for the best in the long run.
Remember though that men and women are very different. Understanding women to the best of your ability could never ever be a bad thing. The more you know, or think you know even, the better off you are. Knowledge is power, in ever aspect, without a doubt.

Understanding yourself... I'm not really sure. I can only speak from personal experience, you know? The way I see it is, if your perceptive, smart, and have a desire for knowledge you will at a point question life, your impact on it, spirituality, the past and present, many things that have relation to existence. Once you question these things and find out where you stand, through research and personal exploration, you should have some sort of bearing on where you want to head in life and what you want to stand for. This won't be easy, and it may take a long time, but you will become the best person you can for it. You can pursue business ventures, love, excitement, adventures, anything you wish with the right know how and desire.

To make a long story short: Due to the hectic nature of this age bracket [school, uncertain futures] and a somewhat cynical attitude towards love, I have been enjoying a polyamorous lifestyle;

To be clear, he's talking about his left and right hands

Sorry grav, it was just too tempting

Just to clarify, I am not at all opposed to polyamory. In fact I think all individuals should live this style for at least some time. I think "true love" comes with experience just like anything else.

I'm lovesick for this woman. I find my day to day life lackluster in contrast to being with her. The people around me just don't compare. How can I pick myself up out of this hole?