I know. I guess its the effort he's been putting into it. Its like he has the potential to make my life better than ever, but at the same time, there's the risk that he won't and I'll be really depressed for a long time, now that austyns here I'm just hoping for the best and trying to remember not to let go completely. I don't trust him for shit, but he says that the longer he's truthful the more trust I'll gain in him. Truth, but i hope that he is in it for the long run, because i do slightly hold grudges. (I'm still not over "wal-mart girl") When i say it (or type it) i feel stupid for being with him too...but i guess i do have faith in our relationship.