I thought of Slaynish when I first read this...

Google is my friend for laffs.

Hi Alice,

Today a girlfriend and I were discussing the nutritional value of sperm. While performing oral sex, if you swallow, I was told that it is very high in protein. However, I was also informed that it is very high in calories. This may seem like a weird question, but I would like to know what nutritional benefits are involved when "swallowing" and how many approximate calories are in a man's ejaculation? Thank you for your help in this matter.

P



Dear P,

A typical ejaculation fills up about one teaspoon; the actual amount is determined by a man's age (younger men usually make more semen), when he last ejaculated, and how long he's aroused before ejaculating, among other factors. Contrary to what you've heard, semen is not loaded with calories. Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5 - 7 calories and some 200 - 500 million sperm. Since sperm make up only about 1 percent of semen, what accounts for the other 99 percent? Well, its other ingredients include:

* Fructose sugar
* Water
* Ascorbic acid (a.k.a., vitamin C)
* Citric acid
* Enzymes
* Protein
* Phosphate and bicarbonate buffers (bases)
* Zinc

Can swallowing semen enrich a poor diet? Unless you're gulping gallons of it each day, it's no substitute for real nutritious cuisine.