New - 5 word story thread

Where the fuck did my subconscious mind altering ego go? I just can't figure it out at all. It is like it was here and then just up and disappeared. I hurried to the nearby Kwik-E-Mart, hoping to find the Pick of Destiny. Using it to scratch my balls, I made them grow ten times the size of an elephant. I started to freak out when I realized I needed some testicle cream. My balls were on fire; it was pure agony wrapped in bacon. The kind of bacon that is still hot and sizzling. The kind that's over-done and burnt to a crisp. Maybe I should eat some doughnuts. I found some chocolate eclairs at the local 7-11, so I ate two dozen and soon I remembered that I'm a fucking fat ass. What I also forgot was I'm disabled.

After exactly two hours, siamese twins and a midget went to that same 7-11 where Michael Jackson was hanging