Laugh Out Loud

I just finished writing this a few minutes ago, so any feedback would be appreciated. Lyrics by myself. Enjoy.

"Laugh Out Loud"

Harsh sunlight filters through cobwebbed windows.
The splinters beneath me are digging in.
The aroma of oil is so overwhelming.
This is the consequence of sin.
Ancient leather confining all movement.
The vomit and blood absorbed by my skin.
I've reached the clearing at the end of my path.
I always hoped this is how I would meet my end

The carnage left behind me.
The nexus of my apathy.
I only truly felt my life
When I was ending someone else's.

There is nothing you can do for me.
My soul, already lost.
This is my time, I comprehend the cost.
This is how I wish to die.
This is what is meant for me.
I am a murderer, I deserve my sleep.

I've built a foundation of blood and gristle.
I've constructed a memorial of fragmented bone.
I've concealed within a vault of dead trophies.
But, my most cherished corpse shall be my own.

I've left this world a legacy.
My name will echo through all reality.
Avove all: Manson, Ed Gein and Gacy.
None will surpass me.

I grin as the deathman pulls the switch.
I writhe in blissful agony.
Though my body dies, you will forever fear me.
The world around me does not fade.
It tears, it shreads into tatters of gray.
I laugh out loud, for my greatest victim was me.

Dark, glooomy, wordy. HEY! Its you raziel. Not bad. 8/10

this is the second song I have looked at. It is pretty good. I hope your band is doing well.

If you are interested, visit the band's website. The link is in Raziel's sig.

The link wouldn't work for me. Damn it. I will try it again later today on my computer at home.

Okay, so I decided upon a title for this one. I was actually tossing around this idea for a while, but I was hesitant, for obvious reasons.

who would understand such song?

1) I assume that English isn't your first language. You're of hispanic descent, correct? Plus, your grammar is a bit off. So, you not understanding what I'm saying in the song is understandable.

2) I write my lyrics with an advanced comprehension of the english language. I have a large vocabulary, and I like to use it. If some people don't understand the big words I use, that's fine with me. The people that do understand will most likely appreciate what I've written.

that is pretty good man. I can write 'rap' rhymes ok like.