I'm a noob to the forum but here you go.

heres one iw rote just coz i wa sbored and had nothign to do


Hoisting this barbell from the ground,
Is a journey I embark on all year round,
No time for vacations for obvious reasons
The true bodybuilder is always in season,
Now the seasons will change through out the year,
A few pounds of fat while bulking is nothing to fear
The scent of sweat and cry of pain,
Is not un heard of if you know how to train,
The desire I have to continually return,
unfathomable by most but I love the burn
'Cause when there is sweat on your back,
And a barbell off the rack
There is no better place it's real mans land,
here everyday I make my last stand,
To have the strength, dedication, and desire,
You must be born with an unquenchable fire,
A fire that only continues to spread,
Soon bodybuilding is all that occupies your head,
You just cant wait to get that next Iron fix,
So, as I finsih my set the first of many conflix
Just ask your self this
are you man enough not to remiss?


hehe gayness

The first one was very boring and sounded like almost every poem gothic cam whores write. Nothing original or inspiring, and so cliched it was close to parody.

However the second one posted here I enjoyed. Interesting paralells to weight lifting. They rythm was a bit inconsistant I think though, unless I read it wrong (I do that sometimes) Overall though, I liked it.

I would say continue writing though, both of you. The more you write, the more your creativity will develop and maybe turn into your own unique style.