Superman Returns!

He's the best contender for Superman that I've ever seen. Seriously, can you think of anyone better? I can think of a small handful of actors that might be able to do it, and they still don't feel right. Brendan Fraser, Jerry O'Connell, and a young Bruce Campbell are the only ones that spring to mind, and none of them genuinely feel right because they already have established character identities.

Some of the other contenders for the role, a year or two ago, were Jake Gyllenhall, Ashton Kutcher and that guy from the WB show Roswell.

Seriously, take a good look at the future Superman, because he's a hell of a lot better than anybody else. I can't think of a single actor who seems more fit for the part, and I'm willing to bet that nobody else can either.

Chainsaw hand!! Yeaaaaa!

Superman with a chainsaw hand would be too much cool to absorb.

I wonder if S-Mart was actually some kind of hidden lead-in to Bruce Campbell becoming Superman..?! It all makes sense now! Don't think about it!

And Evil Ash is actually Bizarro Ash...

You're onto something there.

And ARMY OF DARKNESS is actually SUPERMAN XI!!! YES!!

It's kind of depressing to think that Supes would be lowered to the position of Housewares Manager at S-Mart. How does he go from battling Darkseid one-on-one to shelving toasters?

Unemployment check ran out.

So, what happened to his position at the Daily Planet? Downsizing?

I think he just became a born again Christian, and you know how they hate newspapers.

They hate newspapers like Wayne Brady hates the white man!

I think Wayne Brady is a robot.

But if Wayne Brady hates the white man, and Waybe Brady is a robot, then that means...

...oh Jesus. Call the Pentagon. Negro robot uprising on the radar! Run to the hills!

And join the rednecks, hicks and christian militia? No thanks! I'll run for the fucking robot.

Haven't you seen the epic sci-fi thriller Screamers?! They'll trick you into theinking that they are cuddly teddybears or guys lying on the ground pretending to be injured! They'll tear you to pieces! You can't match their robotic wits!

They'll push me down the stairs! Onoes!

And they will be silent, as well. They are cunning bastards.

hmmmm I've heard otherwise....I heard that Jake Gyllenhall was the new Superman

God no. The official announcement from Bryan Singer (the director) and from Warner Brothers is that Brandon Routh is the new Superman. Jake Gyllenhall screen-tested for the role over a year ago and WB didn't think he was right for the part.

He's just too damn goofy to be Supes.