Finding this thing called "love" is actually harder than I expected...

I sadly don't have any pointers or anything for you, but I suppose I can share my own story as "misery loves company," does it not?

I hear you about the things not lasting forever, about 6 months ago Abby and I split (to be more fair, I got dumped) as well, after 7 years, so I'm still getting used to the whole being single thing since I never really was 'on the prowl,' in a manner of speaking as we were dating since I was 17 and living together since I was 18.

You realize a lot of things after the fact, and I'm kinda shocked it lasted as long as it did. Looking back, I realize I had gradually become a selfish jackass, but then I also see that I had also done the same to her. I'm not too proud of the person I have been the past few years, but there isn't much I can do about the past now, I can only prepare for the future.

We really had little in common and didn't really even share many of the same interests, but we never really fought or anything. After thought, I think I loved the fact that she loved me so much more than I loved her for being herself, and I was too stupid to realize it. I regret doing her that disservice and wish I could give her all those years back or wish she got tired of me sooner just so she could move on.

My only other real regret is that I now hate her for how she handled things at the end and also immediately after. I suppose I try to live a little bit too much by the good old 'Do Unto Others...' rule, and feel betrayed that she had a new boyfriend a month and a half after ending our 7 year relationship (especially after telling me that there wasn't another guy). I believed her at the time, but 2 months after that (when she terminated our lease before I could support myself seperate from her), I learn that her Long Distance boyfriend (who was a childhood friend) had moved across the country to where she was moving to (and I now assume that they are living together).

I can't shake the feeling that I had been betrayed before our relationship was over and lied to about it. I suppose I should ask how some of you others would feel in that situation. It probably isn't a big deal to some other people, but I've never had much experience with relationships. Add that to the fact that the three things I hate most in the world are liars, traitors, and thieves, and it's no real wonder I feel the way I do.


Anyway, that'll be my emo tale of woe. I apologize if it drifts around a bit, but not normally being an emotional guy, I have difficulty organizing them at times.