sick baby jokes

ok...in no way am i a violent person...i just find these amusing...if u dont have a good sense of humor with stuff like this please dont read it might be offensive to some. That said:

What's black and taps on windows?
A baby in the oven.

What's blue and yellow and sits on the bottom of the ocean?
A baby with its floaties slashed.

What's red and sits in the corner screaming?
A peeled baby in a cot of salt.

What's more fun than hanging a baby on a spinning clothes line?
Stopping it with a cricket bat.

What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby eating razor blades.

What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby a month later.

How do you put a baby into a shoe box?
Use a blender.

How do you get a baby out of a shoe box?
Use a straw.

How do you stop a baby from crying?
Chop it's head off.

What's red and stands in front of the mirror?
A baby combing it's hair with a Potato Peeler.

What's the difference between a truck load of melons and a truck load of babies?
Melons don't stick to the pitch fork or wiggle as much.

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby?

About five minutes in a microwave.

What's red and hangs from the back of a train?
A miscarriage.

What's yellow, crispy and lives in a fish and chip shop?
A battered baby.

Why did the baby cross the road?
It was nailed to the chicken.

What's red and climbs up women's stockings?
A homesick abortion.

Why can you put babies into blenders feet first?
To see the expression on their faces.