Ways to Kill Yourself: Driving Tactics.
There are many, many, many, many ways to kill yourself,but in my professionally humble opinion, driving fatalities are the flashiest and most effective. So, Ive gathered a number of ways to kill yourself while driving.
1.
Ramming Oncoming Traffic
Go onto the highway, accelerate to 100, and pull into the left lane. Its that simple. Theres two perfectly good reasons to turn left:
A. If you dont turn left, you dont have the chance to take someone down with you from oncoming traffic.
And B. You wouldnt want to hold up the rest of us, now would you?
After turning left, you need to select a car to ram. I reccomend a "street savvy" Honda Civic. For more information on these, visit the
Official Ricer Guide.
Ease: 5/10
Its kinda hard to find a highway long enough to get to 100 AND find a Ricer.
Effectiveness: 9/10
A one hundred mph head on collision. Sometimes they try to dodge though.
Entertainment: 10/10
A person dies, and a Rice Rocket is destroyed. Im happy.
2.
Driving off a Cliff/Bridge
This is my favorite one, and requires the least work. Simply drive around till you find a cliff. If youre unable to find a cliff, or live in a Cliff Free Zone, a tall bridge should do nicely. There might be a metal barrier or police officer in your way, but dont regard them. Cars are invincible, and will never show any damage. Keep an eye on your damage gauge however. If it gets too high, it will cost at least 500 dollars to reset it to zero. After running over the police officer/metal barrier, hit the cliff edge and get in a few Hail Mary's before you hit the ground. Death is garunteed on cliffs over 200 feet.
Ease: 8/10
While Easy to perform, finding the cliff or bridge of sufficiant height can be troublesome.
Effectiveness: Varies
The higher the cliff, the more likely the death.
Entertainment: 7/10
Pretty boring, unless the gas tank catches fire. Then you get a giant fireball.
3.
Fall Asleep While on the Highway
Simple: Stay up all night, then drive a really long distance with no caffine.
Ease: 3/10
Most people fall asleep the night before and end up using methods 1 or 2
Effectiveness: 5/10
Often you might not hit anything, or just rear end a car.
Entertainment: 1/10
Good to nap by, and not much else.
This week on "Killing Humanity"
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