Poem for Harmony

Well, Dan, I just read through your poem, and I have one suggestion to give you.

Remove her name from the poem entirely.

You see, when you directly address another human being in a literary piece (a poem, a song, etc) then you're doing two fairly negative things in the process.

1) You are excluding everyone that reads this poem from enjoying it. Because you single a specific person out, it makes the subject, emotions and message of the piece exclusive to the peron you're aiming it at. That's always a no-no.

2) You are putting the subject person on the spot. You're divulging their name and intimate aspects of your relationship with them for the public to see, and that's also a no-no.

And in all honesty, I've come to find that usually people prefer not being referenced directly. They enjoy the secrecy of the work, and it honestly feels a lot more meaningful to only have the writer and subject aware of exactly what the song is about. I would remove her name from the title and anywhere else that you placed it in the piece.

Otherwise, good job.