The Fifth Book of Lenny

What I said up above *points* was that a solution would have to have more than 100,000,000 times the concentration of... Fuck it; I'll say this in easy terms.

Say this shit I'm talking about (hydrogen ions) are red pixels.

Water is a white circle with some red pixels in it.

Something with a pH less than 7 has MORE red pixels than that water circle has.

Now, to have a -1 pH, you'd have to have 100,000,000 time more pixels than that white circle. If the circle is... say... .00001% red pixels (BECAUSE THAT IS THE ACTUAL PERCENTAGE OF HYDROGEN IONS IN PURE WATER), then your substance with a negative pH would have to be 1000% red pixels which is a physical impossibility.

This circle:
cannot have more red pixels in it than it already does. It's 100% red pixels. It's already composed of ALL red pixels.

Apart from the white pixels round the edge???

I still say it's a technicallity thingy. ANyway, any ideas for book 6 Mr. Bob?

The reincarnated Lenny gets a lesson in Chemistry and manages to create a perfect textbook -pH acid, which results in it dissolving its beaker and causing unknown havoc as it eats through the world down to Australia, and kills a bunch of Aussies?

Yes? No?

I fail to see how you think you can put more red pixels in that red circle. It's completely red. It simply cannot be done. That circle is a representation of a 0 pH. There is nothing with more red in it than that. It's physically in-fucking-possible.

The reincarnated Lenny gets a lesson in Chemistry and never creates a -pH acid. This is partially due to the fact that it is impossible. Instead, he steps on a rather large thumb tack and falls down a short flight of stairs attempting to pull it out. His fall is broken by a small orphan girl, though, and Lenny is unharmed (aside from the rather large thumb tack that is still lodged in his foot). And so it was that which was the 6th book o' Lenny.

Chris wins!
Trophy for you!

Yay for wasting so much time on a single thread in the chat forum.

I like that. You wanna help write it? Or shall I?

Now to waste more time. And on with Mr. Bob's idea:

The Sixth Book of Lenny...........

And the Reincarnated Lenny was told that minus pH was impossible.
And Lenny argued with Mr. Bob.
And Mr. Bob gave Lenny a Chemistry lesson.
And Lenny laughed.
And Mr. Bob said: "OK then smart arse. Make a -pH acid."
And Lenny said: "OK, I will."
And Lenny walked up the stairs tp the Chemistry lab.
And in the Lab, Lenny failed to make a -pH acid.
And Mr. Bob laughed.
And Lenny ran out in a huff.
And Lenny stood on a rather large thumbtack.
And the thumbtack stuck in his foot
And Leny hopped around, trying to get it out.
And he hopped towards the stairs.
And Lenny fell down the stairs.
And he fell down a floor.
And then another.
And a third.
And he fell on a poor orphan girl.
And the poor orphan girl broke his fall.
And Lenny was unharmed but from a rather large thumbtack still in his foot.
And so it was that which was the Sicth Book of Lenny.

(ideas by: Mr. Bob. All books of Lenny copyrigted (C) now and forever more. 10% of all proceeds from Book Sixth go towards Mr. Bob's new cot. Another 1% goes to the orphan girl. The rest goes to the Vatican for some strange reason. None of it goes to Lenny, and so he creates more rubbish to torture the innocent until he is given something for his work).

And then the little orphan girl stood up
And there was much rejoicing
And the little orphan girl said "You asshole you fell on me"
And the little orphan girl proceeded to smack lenny in the face
And there was much rejoicing
And then Lenny died a horrible death and no one went to his funeral
And then Lenny was sent to hell
And he will spend all eternity there for his stupidity









































And there was much rejoicing

Why do you refer to yourself in the third person?

It would be kind of starnge if it was all:

And I was given a Chemistry lesson.
And I stood on a thumb tack

etc. sounds like a diary.

Whereas this is just a load of..........manure. Not good enough to be crap. Not bad enough to be good.

And don't change the word order, it's correct.

Wilma, how much for Book Seven?

Three bars of plantum.

Right.

Oh Plantum. Come to Lenny. I got chocolate for you! He he he he.

So, recap.

Books 1 - 4 had their own thread: The Four Books of Lenny..........

Books 5,6 and 7 have been made up in the Fifth Book of Lenny.......... thread.

I think we need a Book 8.

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Drum roll please...............

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And now, Ladies and Gentleman, I give to you....THE EIGTH BOOK OF LENNY!!!!

['audience do this card']APPLAUSE AND CHEERING[/'audience do this' card]

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The Eigth Book of Lenny..........
And so Lenny was left in hell.
And his personal demons tortured him.
And they made him drink -pH acids.
And Mr. Bob appeared and told the demons off for using a physical impossibilty.
And the demons shrugged and tortured Mr. Bob instead.
And Lenny escaped.
And there were many groans.
And Mr. Bob escaped. And there was much rejoicing.
And Platnum appeared, tempted by the chocolate.
And Lenny made him into three bars.
And Lenny gave Wilma the three bars of Platnum.
And so Lenny bought the rights to the Seventh Book of Lenny..........
And he threw a house party.
And he was thrown in the pool.
And he got wet.
And there was much rejoicing.

God stop fucking bringing this back from the dead.

Sorry. I could make a new thread for each book, but that just wastes space. Here, they're all in one thread.

God stop fucking bringing this back from the dead.

And so the resurrection continues. It seems fitting to resurrect with replying to above post.

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The Ninth Book of Lenny..........

And so Lenny crawled out of the pond.
And the people laughed at him all wet.
And Lenny became angry and threw the laughers in the pond.
And the people laughed at the laughers.
And Lenny said: "This pleases Lenny."
And Lenny went inside his house and had a shower.
And the water was too hot and burnt Lenny.
And he recieved medical attention.
And he was cured.
And he went home.
And the phone rang.
And so Lenny picked up the phone and answered: "Yo dude, you have reached the marijuana hotline. Sorry but we are not in at the moment. Press the # key and we will send you a free sample. Dude."
And he put the phone down.
And it rang again.
And he answered.
And a voice said: "STOP RESURRECTING THESE GOD-DAMNED BOOKS!"
And Lenny looked at the reciever.
And he said to it: "I am a personal friend of God, and do not think he would like you saying that."
And the reciever shouted back: "LIKE HELL. NOW STOP IT OR I'LL ZAGGGONISE YOU!"
And the reciever went dead.
And Lenny shrugged.
And Lenny sent zagggon a basket of highly poisonous Mantra plushie dolls.
And so zagggon became so excited he became dead.
And Lenny attended his funeral and made a fool of zagggon.
And GravitonSurge appeared and made a fool of Lenny.
And the people laughed.
And Lenny ran off.
And there was much rejoicing.

Instead of just refreshing this thread, just edit your post. That way only people that want to read this shit have to see it. Or kill yourself, either way everybody wins.

Right. So you wanna read this thread? That why you answer it?

Right. So you wanna read this thread? That why you answer it?

You fucking douchebag, nobody wants to read your inane bullshit "stories". Shut the fuck up.