You kiss you girlfriend's home page.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned into them.
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to Google.
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap.... and your kid in the overhead compartment.
Your dreams are in HTML.
You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.
You turn your computer off and get this awful epmty feeling, like you just pulled the plug of your loved one.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au"
Your heart races faster and beats irredgularly each time you see a new WWW site address printed on the TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
You turn up the volume real loud when leaving the room so you can hear if anyone IM's you.
You wife drapes a blond wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice that you've been to all of them.
Your dog has its own webpage.
You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated by a 17" LCD Flat-Panel Monitor.
You code your homework in HTML and give your intsructor the URL.
You don't know what sex your three of your closeset friends are, because they have nuetral screennames and you never bothered to ask.
You name your children Google, Friendster and Blogger
You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest MP3's off Kazaa Lite.
You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
You buy a Captain Kirk Chair with a built in keyboard and mouse.
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer can not come to bed"
You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while youre pretending to catch your breath.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost you to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You ask a doctor to implant a terrabyte in your brain.
Your sweetie says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and network them together so that you can IM each other anytime.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
You start using smileys in your snail mail
You bring a bag lunch to the computer.
You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours.
You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.
You type faster than you think.
You double click your TV remote.
You can now type over 70 WPM.
You check your e-mail and forget you have real mail.
You go into withdrawals during dinner.
You rank your friends by the amount of bandwith they have.
You have "Googled" all your friends to try to find out anything interesteing that they are not telling you and you can use against them later.
You message someone via IM when they are less than 20 feet away.
The sound of the keys clicking turns you on.
You have more browsers than friends in the real world.
You actually say I-M-O and A-T-M to real friends rather than 'in my opinion' and 'at the moment'. And they give you strange looks.
You run four chat programs all at once... Yahoo Messenger, ICQ, AIM and MSN
You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
The letters have come off your keyboard from excessive use.
You order pizza online - because you can't be bothered to call.
You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ** kisses**.
You're on the phone and say BRB.
The last movie you've seen was on your Quicktime player.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to the internet.
You have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws Of Life.
Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. And you succeed.
Being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
Tech Support calls you for help.
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...56K...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."
You tell the cab driver you live at
http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
You actually just now tried that 123.elm.street address.
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have an e-mail account.
You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
You beg your friends to get an AOL account so you can all "hang out."
You actually invite large groups of people to your house and have internet parties.
You sit on AOL for 6 hours waiting for that certain special person to sign on.
The only Family you send Christmas and Birthday Cards to are the ones who have an email address.
Instead of forplay, you ask your spouse if she/he wants to skip the small talk and cyber.
You have internet in your bathroom.
You get depressed when you check your email and dont have any.
You name your dog DotCom.
You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
You refer to your age as 3.x.
Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel.
Your husband/wife tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.
You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.
You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net".
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If I'm not careful I'm a gonna break my copy and paste buttons...
)
when youve finished.
Linear Mode
