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34 ways to kill an imp...and I need more. Any ideas???
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Posted 2005-05-02, 08:53 AM
Quote:
As has already been established, imps cannot be killed.
They can, however, be horribly mangled, crushed under monstrous weights, slaughtered, decapitated, cut into lots of tiny little pieces and used in a dodgy butchers meat pies, pulled to bits by being tied to four horses tails whilst each horse is charging in a different direction, stabbed all over, impaled by all manner of things, eaten, burnt, smoked, fumigated, drowned, buried alive, suffocated, trodden on, completely drained of all vital liquids, split in half, hung, starved, dehydrated, hit with blunt objects, hit with sharp objects, hit with pointy objects, hit with objects, cut up by medical students, cut up by everyone else, clobbered, flung hard against trees, tortured, blown to bits, strangled, take an incredibly lethal overdose of the addictive Trippity Skippity plant, suffer from extreme blood loss, and basically hurt in any way that may cause them great pain and would kill any other person, plant or animal that had the grave misfortune of living. And each time, the imp will somehow come back to life. This process often involves a milky shadow floating out of the ex-body and reforming out of danger. This can be quite tedious for the imp if they were ‘killed’, as it were, in an unavoidable danger, such as a planet exploding, or imploding as the case may be. As the process only takes a minute at the most, the imp would come back to a still imploding/exploding planet and be ‘killed’ once again. Fortunately for imps, this has not yet happened, else they would all be incredibly ratty, and, of course, slightly displeased.
Above is a passage form something I'm writing called "The Way of the Imp". Basically it is a list of how you can "kill" imps. So far I have something like 34 ways to kill imps, and, as the tile of the thread says, I need more. Any ideas???

You can find the whole 15 pages here: http://brgs.digitalbrain.com/brgs/ac...0the%20Imp.doc

Last edited by Lenny; 2005-05-02 at 09:02 AM.
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Posted 2005-05-02, 07:11 PM in reply to Lenny's post "34 ways to kill an imp...and I need..."
I'm so confused.
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Posted 2005-05-02, 07:33 PM in reply to Lenny's post "34 ways to kill an imp...and I need..."
Wtf Is This?
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Posted 2005-05-03, 10:07 AM in reply to -=Rico-GP=-'s post starting "Wtf Is This?"
A passage from something I'm writing.

Just give more ways to kill things that are not above.
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Posted 2005-05-03, 12:38 PM in reply to Lenny's post "34 ways to kill an imp...and I need..."
Lenny said:
Above is a passage form something I'm writing called "The Way of the Imp". Basically it is a list of how you can "kill" imps. So far I have something like 34 ways to kill imps, and, as the tile of the thread says, I need more. Any ideas???

You can find the whole 15 pages here: http://brgs.digitalbrain.com/brgs/ac...0the%20Imp.doc
It looks like you can kill one anyway you can kill a human. Whats the difference and why do you need more than a few?
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Posted 2005-05-03, 01:05 PM in reply to Kaneda's post starting "It looks like you can kill one anyway..."
Drawn and quartered.
Given a C4 enema.
Strapped to the underside of a car/wagon going over a rocky path.
Given cement shoes and throw in a river.
Put through a wood chipper (very messy).
Run over slowly by a steamroller.
Get their necklace caught in an escalator, results in slow stragling or slow decapitation.
Forced to eat a bowl of broken glass.
Roasted alive in a giant oven.


KagomJack said:
My girth isn't anything to bitch and moan about in long, elaborate paragraphs.
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Posted 2005-05-03, 03:11 PM in reply to JRwakebord's post starting "Drawn and quartered. Given a C4 enema...."
Nailed to a cross.
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Posted 2005-05-03, 05:14 PM in reply to Penny_Bags's post starting "Nailed to a cross."
Licked by Dan XIII's girlfriend.
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Posted 2005-05-03, 10:14 PM in reply to Grav's post starting "Licked by Dan XIII's girlfriend."
Strap an active stargate to it. Dial out to a stargate in the event horion of a black hole. Then enclose it in a forcefield and eject it into a sun. It'll cause the sun to supernova and destroy the system.

Sg-1 did it to a system called Vorash and destroyed all but one ship of the Goa'uld system lord Apophis' fleet.
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Posted 2005-05-03, 11:24 PM in reply to Sovereign's post starting "Strap an active stargate to it. Dial..."
Um... right.

Also: extremely high voltage wires clamped to nipples/testicles/whatever.
Drink gasoline.
Lay it down on the road when it starts to snow and wait for the plows.
Make it watch Ashlee Simpson dance. It will kill itself in due time.


KagomJack said:
My girth isn't anything to bitch and moan about in long, elaborate paragraphs.
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Posted 2005-05-04, 06:56 AM in reply to JRwakebord's post starting "Um... right. Also: extremely high..."
Put him in a vacuum and watch him explode due to the pressure change.
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Posted 2005-05-04, 07:13 AM in reply to sue_13's post starting "Put him in a vacuum and watch him..."
Plasma Genades!!!


KagomJack said:
My girth isn't anything to bitch and moan about in long, elaborate paragraphs.
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Posted 2005-05-04, 02:54 PM in reply to Kaneda's post starting "It looks like you can kill one anyway..."
More than a few mkaes the passage weirder...fits in with the rest of the book...

And there is no difference, except that they reincarnate if you will...they are immortal.


I'll write them all in. Any more ideas?? Keep em coming...

DISEMBOWLED!!!!
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Posted 2005-05-05, 06:21 AM in reply to Lenny's post starting "More than a few mkaes the passage..."
Have him squat as much weight as he can and he will push so hard that his intestines will shoot out his ass (i've seen pictures of this really happening) i dont think its fatal tho so it might not be of much good
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Posted 2005-05-05, 09:29 AM in reply to sue_13's post starting "Have him squat as much weight as he can..."
It'd definitely hurt...
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Posted 2005-05-07, 03:33 AM in reply to sue_13's post starting "Have him squat as much weight as he can..."
sue_13 said:
Have him squat as much weight as he can and he will push so hard that his intestines will shoot out his ass (i've seen pictures of this really happening) i dont think its fatal tho so it might not be of much good


http://poetry.rotten.com/weightlifter/

khekhex
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Posted 2005-05-11, 12:18 AM in reply to PureRebel's post starting "http://poetry.rotten.com/weightlifter/..."
That. Is. Disgusting.

My ass hurts just looking at that fucking picture.


KagomJack said:
My girth isn't anything to bitch and moan about in long, elaborate paragraphs.
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Posted 2005-05-11, 09:44 AM in reply to JRwakebord's post starting "That. Is. Disgusting. My ass hurts..."
Must've really hurt...




Poor imps, having their bowels pop out...
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